Fun With Morgan and Avery

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Why I'm Not Winning "Parent of the Year" Anytime Soon...

Not like I ever even thought that this great honor was a possibility. But I guess compared to Honey Boo Boo's mom, aptly named, "mama," I'm not at the bottom of the barrel! That being said, it's always fun to watch people's faces when we go out in public and the kids act all silly. I'll get to that in a minute. Suffice it to say that I much prefer their weirded-out reactions to a normal smile. Peaceful is boring. With us, there's never a dull moment!

So let's get to Exhibit A.

You probably can't tell in the pics, but they are each wearing at least three pairs of PJ's that Mom-Mom sent. They must have been super hot, but it was more important to get these pics 'cause they looked so darn cute!!!!

...And let's not forget that Avery looks like a boy. Exhibit B.

Exhibit C really sets the bar low. I didn't ask Morgan to do this. In fact, Mollie and I were talking in the kitchen and we heard, "clink, clink, clink!" We turned to see Morgan putting away a case of beer!

Here we'll note Exhibit D: Avery on a stair. At first glance it doesn't look so bad. Until you hear the conversation:

Avery: Ahhhhh. Mwahhhhhh. Ehhhhhhhh. Blahhhhhh!

Me: Avery, what's wrong?!

Avery: I'm stuck here. I can't move.

Me: Gimme a break. You aren't stuck there. Move it!

Avery: I'm stuck here and I can't get down! WHAAAAAAAAA!

Me: Wait a minute. Stay stuck. Don't move. I'm gonna take your picture.

Avery: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Me: (hee hee!)

Exhibit E: Morgan was sick. She fell asleep on the sofa sitting up. Rather than laying her down, it was more interesting to me to once again snap a pic! How cute is she!!!!

Exhibit F: At the mall. Spent a lot of time chasing them and breaking a sweat which made me smell ripe...kind of vinegary/restaurant-ish. Either way I was stinky. So, when we got to Vicky's and they decided to play "BOO" at potential customers, I could have cared less. Hey - they were in ONE place that didn't require me chasing them. So here is what some random ladies discovered behind the sweatshirts...

BOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the best moment of all, today, was at Target. We went to get hats for the kids for fall/winter. Avery fell in love with a heart hat that she just had to wear immediately. However, please note that her outfit was already something out of "Cirque Du Soleil" on crack. When she added the hat and gloves she looked, well......interesting.
But that isn't the point. The point is that she was running through the isles and getting in people's way. Kind of like the typical WI driver who sits in the left lane and goes 50, having no clue that there are people who want to go faster....or not caring. Yeah, that was Avery in the isle. So focused on her hat and gloves that as she walked down the left side of the isle she 1. nearly got run over by a cart, 2. went so slow that some lady behind her looked pretty annoyed, and 3. wove back and forth like a little drunkard!
In fact, we called her that in front of the lady whose way she blocked, and the lady looked at us with total distaste! HA! Too funny!

Here's my little drunkard! Love it, right?!?!?!?!

Saturday, September 15, 2012

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

OMG

No....................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Two hours ago I left for the gym and the grocery store. After enjoying a pleasant morning with the girls (they played so nicely together! Picked pebbles to sort through, played in the stroller, went "shopping" for toys, ate Sherbet, watched Bugs Bunny....), I left feeling good and peaceful. Dan was gonna stay with them, so we gave hugs and kisses, we waved good bye, and I pulled out of the driveway, blissfully unaware of the horror that would ensue back at home.

Before the big reveal, let's review....

Above you'll note that Avery is adorable. Even when she's sad. She's wearing a dress made for a 9 month old, so I guess maybe that's why she's sad. But I love the look on her face. Too cute!

Below, you'll note that Avery is in the stroller, covered - very deliberately - by Morgan. Morgan was nice enough to give Avery a book, some chips, and some money. Just in case, I guess. Sometimes they use the front tray as a "checkout counter" to purchase toys. Maybe Morgan thinks that Avery will want new toys!

Let's take another look at how well they cooperate and play! They are going to be unicorns for Halloween, and they just can't wait, so they helped each other get dressed up yesterday. Then they went outside to race!

Before the big race....

Guess who won!

Even though Avery lost, she still felt like a winner in her hat!

Bottom line - they are adorable together, and even though there are a few minor arguments here and there, on the whole they are a joy to watch and listen to when they play!

But we all know that tragedies can, and do, happen (Wally the Weasel, RIP).

No, nobody died this time, thank God.

But I got home from the gym and got a bit concerned when I walked in to silence....

After putting some stuff away, Dan came down the stairs and showed me this picture:

What is it?

Vomit?

A mangled doll?

Ribbons that have been massacred?

A small furry animal?

Nope.

HAIR.

It took a minute for my brain to register what it was seeing. Hair. Pony's hair? I see some colors in there. Morgan's hair? (Let's not forget the time that she told me she cut her hair, but didn't).

AVERY'S HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

According to Dan, here's how things went down...

They were playing nicely in Morgan's room.
Dan saw that they were playing with safety scissors and said, "Now Morgan, don't go cutting anyone's hair!"
Morgan: I won't, Daddy.

Morgan peeked her head out once and said: Don't worry, Daddy, we're not doing anything naughty.

A bit later, Avery poked one eye into Dan's office which is when he saw her for the first time.

Apparently, according to Avery, her hair was dirty so they cut it off.

Yes, it was dirty because Morgan spit milk in it. I was going to WASH it later - not shave her head!!!!!!

But perhaps this is the universe's way of getting back at me for cutting my cousin Becky's bangs all the way down to her forehead with pinking shears when we were kids.....

Who knows?

All I know is that I STILL don't know how to feel about this. Is it tragic? Infuriating? Funny? Shocking? Nauseating? Inevitable? Dumfounding?

So, for the poor kid whose hair didn't grow to begin with, I guess she'll just have to wear that cute little hat more often!

Pray for me......