Dr. Morgan

Cooper licks her forearm RAW. Like nasty, gross, open wound, ridiculous raw. It's swollen and she hardly stands on it. And the licking goes on CONSTANTLY!!! Additionally, poor Savannah has a boo boo on her right elbow from laying on the floor and having a difficult time getting up. it rubbed raw, and now it's an open wound. It's pretty deep, too. So Morgan and I wrapped them up!

Here are Cooper and Savannah:

Morgan was a big help throughout the entire thing. She helped to wrap their bandages, tape them up, and pet them to make them feel better! What a sweetheart!

So of course she had to fix Snowflake's and Flower's boo boos!

Good times!!!

Lullabyes and Avery Cries (and Mommy Needs to Sleep)

There was a time when Avery would go right to sleep at 6:00 PM. 6:00. From the time she was 3 months old, we would put her in her crib, turn off the lights, say, "Peace out, homie," and that WAS IT. It was predictable, dependable, and wonderful.

And then she got older.

And she turned into a manipulative monster!

Her typical "going to bed" requests sound like this:

"Mommy....I was Santa to bring me green muts and a green fan. And green numbers on a green door. And a green blankie with a green pillow with stripes on it. And I want you to get a present, and daddy to get a present, and Morgan to get a present, and I want lots of presents"

It varies a little from night to night, but that's kind of the gist of it.

So a few nights ago, Avery just WOULDN'T stay in her room. She wanted a cheese stick, to go pee pee, to brush her teeth again, to give Morgan a hug and a kiss, there's a hair on her mut, she messed up her blankies.  At one point, Morgan offered to try to sing her to sleep, and, honestly, I was like, SURE. If it works, you're a genius. For 10 minutes Morgan tried to soothe the savage beast that is her little sister with sweet songs of slumber. But to no avail. It was a long night that finally turned into leaving Avery in her room, crying, until she passed out. Yay for bedtime.

Singing Rock a Bye
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89Gr0_gaVk0

What Avery Asks For
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvdrhCVBxXw

Wait, Mommy, You Forgot...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgB3LFBsQzE

Attempt # 1,023
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvdrhCVBxXw

Morgan singing lullabyes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CylLeNltJq8


Now....I know that a lot of this is on me for going back in, and that I should probably just pull a Supernanny move and leave her there, but there's a twisted side of me that thinks the whole thing is pretty funny, hence why I share it with you lovely folks! That night (two nights ago) was particularly bad,  and last night I was out for a girls' night so Dan put them to sleep (and he SAYS that everything was fine but I think he just says that to make it seem like he's the child-whisperer) so we'll see how well Avery does tonight. And as I type this, I glance at the clock, and it's 6:52...the witching hour. Bedtime soon.....so we will see in about an hour if it was a one night disaster....or a new trend meant to make me go grey!

:)

Avery's Quote of the Day

Ah, little miss Avery. You just never know what she's going to say, even to the simplest of questions.

She and Morgan built a fort in the family room and they manage to coerce me into letting Avery watch one more show before bedtime. So the two of them cuddled up in there and I hunkered down in the kitchen to watch the season finale of "The Bachelor!" (Who will he choose?! Catherine?! Lindsay?! I say he lost his shot with a closet stalker - AshLee...yes, she capitalizes the L...as proven when she called him out on "The Final Rose - the Women Tell All" ..."Sean, you told me that you didn't have feelings for the other women and now you're sitting here lying to me and all of America...No, AshLee, I would never say that...but you DID Sean!" Ah, the melodrama!)

Anyway, as Morgan was bustling about, Avery was quiet as can be. So I was surprised when she came out of nowhere and exclaimed, "Hi, Mama!"

Me: Hi, Avery! Where'd you come from?!

Avery: (without missing a beat) The mountains (and this was not a huge exclamation. It was stated as a fact).

Me: Oh, that's great! What were you doing there?

Avery: Digging.

Me: Digging for what?

Avery: Kisses!

Morgan: Here, Avery, I'll kiss you!

Avery: NO MORGAN! I'm DIGGING!!!!!

I have no idea.

Here are some pics of Avery:

Laughing hysterically!

Trying to smile...awkwardly...

Trying the "I'm so pretty" pose!

And....half pulling her face off in the process!

And then the girls wanted to have a sleep over in Avery's room. I've never let them do it before, but they were playing so nicely, so I couldn't say no!

Here they are...

And a night night hug...

Granted, I had to go up a few times to get them to be quiet, find a toy, get Morgan to the potty, answer Avery's questions, and her statements, like, "Mommy, I want you to be green"

Yeah, sure, Avery, as long as you go to sleep.

Okay, Mommy.

Let's cross our fingers...

Pee.

Oh God, where do I start?

Well, I've heard a bunch of stories from friends and I've listened to a bunch of funny comedy bits about it - the baby boy who pees JUST as his parents are changing his diaper. JUST as he is born. JUST as he is getting in the bathtub. JUST as, well, whatever! Baby boys just tend to pee when cooler air hits their pee-pees. It's only natural, I suppose. They even make little potty training seats with cups over the front to block pee pee from shooting out. Girls have it, too, which I never understood until tonight....

See exhibit A:

Notice the little cuppy thing at the pee excretion site? Yeah, it's supposed to STOP pee from coming up and over. And little girls have this problem, too, as I found out...

Streams of pee pee? Not JUST a boy thing.

Here's what happened...

I put Avery on the potty seat because, in her words, "I gotta go pee!"

Awesome, right?!?! "No more diapers, no more wipes. No more Mommy's brains are frights!"

Freaking diapers. I hate you. I hate your marketing ploys. Burn, baby, burn.

I digress.....

Point is, Avery was on the potty seat. I was sitting in front of her on a kiddie stool, Morgan was in the front part of the bathroom, but trying to sit on me....Admittedly, I was annoyed because Avery had to go to bed. Morgan had too much sugar and was being annoying. I didn't see it coming when Morgan was trying to sit on my lap. But I felt it...

PEE!!!!!!!

ON MY FOOT, ON MY UGG SLIPPERS, ON MY SWEATPANTS!!!!

Why?!?!?!?! OH GOD, WHY?!?!?!?!

Because that little girl sat on the seat and the pee went up and over the cup!!! It was a fountain!!!! Up and over, stream and soil, laugh and it goes faster, higher, longer!!!! Yup. It happened. Pee everywhere!!!!!!!!! I congratulate her arc, though! It was fabulous. After I felt it begin, I had plenty of time to watch the hilarity ensue. Up and over! Rainbow-esque! Water fountain wanna-be! All of the above! It was a perfect arc of urine, missing every blockade it could...landing everywhere it shouldn't!

Oh, the arc! Oh, the pee! Oh, the, well, mess! So yeah, it went all over the place - down my shoe, on my pants, all over the floor! But the best part of it all??? She laughed at my misfortune! Ah, youth! To love the despair of others, to find pleasure in peeing on feet (and UGGS!!!!!), to look your loved ones square in the face like this:

Do I need to state the obvious? 

Nah. Didn't think so.

But I will anyway - SHE'S SO WEIRD!!!!!!

:)

Breaking News - Avery is Weird!

In case you didn't know. Have I mentioned it? Ever? No? Okay, well, Avery is weird. People ask me why, and I usually just contort my face, take pause, reflect, and try to imagine something weird that's she's done, and I'm always at a loss. Honestly! It's like she does so much weird stuff that she just IS weird, and I can't explain why! This conundrum has forced me to pay closer attention to the little things...and to TAKE PICTURES! Even if it's just a silly little moment! It is of the utmost importance that I stalk this kid like the predator that I am, always waiting, lurking, creeping on her until I get the money shot that will finally prove that I'm right! And I think I got it!

Context #1:
The girls opened Grammy's b-day presents, and in that Fort Knox of a box there were several gifts for each kid, including the outfit that you'll see Avery in - stripes. If there's one thing that this girl loves more than polka dots, it's STRIPES! Even if she's wearing a top that completely clashes with it, the striped pants trump everything.

Context #2:
Morgan got a zebra print chair for Christmas.


Context #3:
Avery has no fear, so in the following image, please note that she has no regard whatsoever for the fragility of her neck and her personal safety. And I'm too busy taking pictures to care. The pink pillow at the bottom? Random. Not there on purpose to buffer her fall.

Please note that her starting position was upright on the sofa behind the chair. She would launch herself forward into a somersault. But look closely...what is her right foot doing? Why, it's purposely clasping onto the back of the chair because...

She would repeatedly pull the chair over with said foot so that it landed on top of her, reminiscent of the Wicked Witch of the East! Doesn't it look like her little striped legs and blinged out shoes will shrivel up any minute, spawning the WWW to enter the scene and Glenda to follow in her little bubble shortly thereafter? Then a little short people song of joy? Yeah. I was waiting for it, too, but all I got was Morgan running at me full speed telling me, "I'm gonna get you, my mommy, and that little dog, too!" And then all of the dogs started barking and running around the house like the Lollipop Guild gone awry, and then a glass of wine to magically take away all of the fear, anxiety, and confusion. I called it Glenda. She's a good witch. Pinot Grigio makes for a beautiful yellow brick road. Just saying.

So, yeah. Avery is weird!

:)

Happy Birthday, Girls!!!

What a fun day!!!

Avery had a Dora/Diego cake, and Morgan's was a pony theme with real toy ponies!!!

Hayden had good time, too!

Morgan got some wonderful presents!

Two Webkins (including a rainbow pony that she was DYING for, and of course a purple kitty!!!)

This is awesome! A baby pony who actually drinks a bottle!

Avery got some fun stuff, too!

A froggie that "I love!!!!"

And a Canada goose - she calls them "my friends!!!!!!" She couldn't believe she actually got one!

And we all know she needs hair extensions.

And of course....TRAINS!!!! (On the goose).

And some sexy glasses...

And a sticker because she peed in the potty...again!!!!!!!!

Then she stuck her hand in the cake. And we are having the water heater replaced, so the water doesn't work right now, so we needed an alternative cleaning system - COOPER!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AVERY!!!!!

AND MORGAN!!!!!

:)

The Gastro-Intestinal System

Morgan turned to me tonight and asked, "Mommy, I wish we had a belly screen to see inside our tummies." (A belly screen is from "Team Umizoomi," a show whose character, Bot, (a robot, duh), can show you anything on his "Belly Screen" - Skyscraper, Taxi Cab, Traffic Light - direct quote from the song, by the way).

So we went on Google images and looked up the digestive system. She can now tell you all about the esophagus, the stomach and the acids that break apart the food and how the blood absorbs what we need, then how the junk we don't need goes through the intestines and comes out as poop!!!! THEN, she wanted to know about how Cari and Prancer digest their food (the horses she rides). We Googled those images and talked about how a horse's esophagus is as long as mommy, and how their stomach and intestines do the same thing, but the horse has a much bigger system.

Here are some of the images she looked at. It's kind of cool that she can tell me where things are!

She wants to be an animal doctor! Yay for mini me!!!!!