Where's Santa??? 2013

Apparently he's EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!

We saw him downtown, the girls said he came to school to visit, we went to the mall again and, begrudgingly, waited in line, then he even showed up at our house!!!!! So I feel no ill will towards the hairy creeper whatsoever this year!

So here we are downtown, at an OUTDOOR Christmas event complete with Santa, reindeer, and a one horse open sleigh carriage ride! And, um, yeah....it was like MAYBE 10 degrees outside. Really??? But here they are with Santa #1. What does Morgan want? Felicity and her horse, Penny. Avery? No purple marble this year, thank goodness. No, now she wants a talking elephant. Really? I have no idea where she would have seen one or thought of it, but then again, this IS the girl who is a self proclaimed "squirrel stalker/biter".

Horse ride! His name is Wilson. For the life of her, Morgan could not remember his name, and I had to repeat it for a good three hours whenever she would talk about him.

Christmas holiday concert night at school. Okay, SOOOOOOO.........the pics are cute, but damn near impossible to get right. I had them standing there for a good 20 minutes (felt longer), because Morgan kept forcing her smile so it looked all creepy, and Avery, shockingly, couldn't stay still. So these are the best of what I got! Adorable, nonetheless, of course!

It was Avery's first concert. Here she is grabbing her friend's chest...I mean, "giving her a hug!!!"

Then we went to the mall to see Santa like we always do, and when we walked up to the Santa stand, I got excited because there was only one family there. And then the lady elf said, "That's actually the last family...." (and then I heard nothing in my head other than expletives and boiling tea kettles because if they were closing down right when we walked in I was literally gonna lose my last remaining cookie). And then she continued, "we're just going to switch out Santas, so if you could come back in 10 minutes that would be great". Okay. Phew. Crisis and Chrissy Apocalypse averted. So we went to subway, had a bite to eat, and returned to....A LINE!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Avery? In line?!?!?!?!?!? Shit.

Here's the fun that ensued...

Standing on, and wiggling on, gated barrier. Disrupting the girl sitting on Santa's lap. Distracting Santa. Good times.

Running all over the line...

Hanging on my leg...

Making a friend in line and playing "ring around the rosey"

They all fell down.

Finally, it's our turn! Thank God. I was breaking a sweat!

Here, Avery is telling Santa what she wants. Like I said, this year it isn't a purple marble. It's something far worse....
"Santa, I, ummmmmmm, I like, Santa, ummmm, I think I want, ummmmm, I, ummmm, Santa, your beard is hairy like Daddy's! I ummmmmm, want....."
You know how the next 60 seconds go.
The ending?

A GOLDEN STAR!!!!!

Shit. While we were waiting in line, she fell in love with the decorative 2 ft tall stars in the display case, and she wants one. I challenge you to go to Google and find something similar. Really.The one she wants? Stands on its own, is NOT a tree ornament or topper, is GOLD not bronze, is metal, is fairly large. What was I finding on Google/Target/Ebay/Kohls/Everywhere? Small, ornament, bronze, stuffed, wicker...everything BUT her requirements. Please go Google it. You'll feel my pain.
So I did get her a big stuffed star (Suer Mario Bros style). I showed her the picture and told her that Santa said that little girls have to get stuffed animal star - that elicited a HUGE negative reaction because she wanted one JUST LIKE SANTA'S!!!!! Poop. I considered going to the mall and stealing one of those stupid stars, or maybe bribing an elf with a bottle of wine. But then I found this.....

Are you freaking kidding me?!?!?!?! This is exactly it! 14 inches, and it even lights up! It's GOLD not BRONZE, too!!!!! She better freaking appreciate this! I don't know what I'm gonna do with the stuffed one - anyone in the market????


Morgan's turn! Santa isn't telling her to shush. He's "Dr. Evil thinking"

Avery is SO HAPPY to see him!

Here we are, now, at the water fountain. This is Morgan making a wish...

Avery wishing...

Final product with Santa!

And then, today, we got a HOME visit from Santa!!!!!! He might have been a family friend, but he might have been the real thing - who knows for sure! He was checking in on the girls to see if they were being good, and again, Avery wanted a golden star!!!! Jeez!

Avery was so sad to see him go. She kept asking him to come back or asking him a question or showing him something...in true Avery fashion! But it was a fun time, and the girls were so excited that they got to see Santa 4 times!!!!!!! They can't wait for Christmas morning!

Avery at the Dentist

Cleaning, checking that banged up tooth, and overall getting "princess-ified"

:)

Halloween 2013

First...the most annoying cute sound ever...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hp2e5toT4qw



Avery pretending to be a pumpkin

Morgan telling me that Avery is being a pumpkin!

Being a pumpkin at the front door

Say CHEESE!!!!!

Family Dinner

Last night, Morgan was so excited to have a family dinner. Admittedly, we are "eat on the fly" kind of people, so we never really sit down to eat together. But Morgan has been asking to go out to dinner together, and, according to her, if we can't do that, well then.....we are gonna have a family dinner at home!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUvKq1eOtfk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irYRZY5LMBY

Here are some pics.....blurry thanks to kids never sitting still!

Trying to get a picture of Avery...

Avery "smiling"

Morgan's spot

Sydney decided it would be a good idea to sleep on my tiger. A whole new twist on "let sleeping dogs lie"

Daddy making Avery laugh....and the other way around!

 It was a yummy, funny, loving evening!

Avery's Quotes of the Day...Hilarious.

I've started keeping track of the funny things that this kid says on my "notes" app on my phone. Which usually means that she says these things when I'm driving. So I have to "talk to text" the whole thing. Here are my interpretations and recollections of the funny shit she says. I'll have to start doing this more. She's not going to believe me when she's older!

We were on our way home from the gym. Morgan and I were in full blown conversation about Morgan wanting to be a cop on horseback in the city so she can catch the bad guys where cars can't go. Avery butts in,

Morgan! Mommy! Guys! I want to be a pretend FROG when I grow up but just PRETEND like in a costume!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me and Morgan: HUH????

Avery: I want to be a FROG COP!

Morgan: You can't be a frog cop Avery...

Avery: Waaaaaa haaaaaaa haaaaaaa! Morgan! You bein' mean!

Me: Morgan, just tell her that she can be whatever she wants to be.

Avery: Morgan hurt my feelings. I'm very very sad.

Morgan: Fine, Avery, you can be whatever you want to be.

Me: That's right, Avery! If you can dream it, you can be it! You just have to practice real hard!

Avery: (Crying....sort of faking) Now I'm crying because I'm too noisy! And I want to be a frog cop so BADLY! Do I look happy or sad? Morgan hurt my heart very badly.

Me: Ugh.




Next? We were talking about where frogs hide - under rocks, under lily pads....Avery even said under the algae! Then she said this:

Avery: MOMMY!!!!!!!! Did you know that frogs can hide in PINEAPPLES?!?!?!



Here is a smattering of other random Avery statements from tonight:

Mommy, I don't like big houses.
Chickens are very feathery.
When I'm a big girl I'm gonna ride a big black truck. (Dan was in the car for this one....it could have gone down a whole different road! I suggest watching "The Island of Misnamed Toys" on youtube ).
Guess what, guys?!?!?! It's my BIRTHDAY today!
You're making me sad again. I just stopped crying.
I don't care about you guys.
Morgan! You're hurting my heart.

And finally, as we were getting out of the car, she told me...and I'm not making this shit up:

"Mommy, I'm gonna kill you".

She got in trouble for that one. We asked her, "What did you say?" and she freaked out and said, "Nothing! I didn't say anything!" and she cried and put herself in the corner, Blair Witch style:

Help.

My Kids are Risk Takers and Mess Makers - Yay For My Nerves.

Risk Takers:
Dear God, why am I filming this instead of stopping it?

Jump! (You might have to copy and paste the links)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kh3pvcqbf-s


Mess Makers:
A few nights ago, I was sitting at the island when I heard from behind me, at the top of the stairs, "Mommy, look at me!" which is a sentence you NEVER want to hear come out of Avery's mouth because it is NEVER followed by anything even remotely resembling a clean/good/exciting/fascinating/peaceful time. It usually involves poop/water all over the floor/toilet paper in the sink/food being dumped/tornadoes hitting the playroom kind of stuff. So I turned around, expectantly, and saw her at the top of the stairs in her pj's.... No worries! She seemed fine!

"Yeah, great Avery!"

"No, Mommy, really LOOK at me!!!!"

And she sauntered down the stairs with glee.

And I lost a little more sanity.

Because she looked like a greased pig! See the video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jxIVLcU13c

She was covered in, what I later discovered, was a quarter of a bottle of Johnson's Baby Shampoo. Now I know you're all thinking, "At least is wasn't peanut butter!" But let me tell ya...a thick layer of soapy goo all over her face and hair doesn't come off easily! I had to scrape the stuff off of her face with a rag - repeatedly. That didn't go over well. And her hair? Well, because she played in the tub for like 30 minutes before we started washing it, it kind of, well, hardened! I went to rinse it out, and as you'll recall, she had pulled it straight over her hair from the middle part down to her ears. So when she leaned back for me to rinse it, and I poured the water over her head, the water just trickled down and did absolutely NOTHING to remove the cemented goo in her hair! It took forever to rinse all that stuff out!

So, um, yeah. That's my crazy life with my crazy kids and my crazy hubby and it's crazy fun!

:)

We are Family!

We NEVER get all four of us in one shot! So here we are! Of course, there's always something wrong with a picture - my gym sculpted biceps look huge thanks to my hair's shadow (and, well...they're kind of huge anyway thanks to training!), Avery's looking in another direction, Morgan is trying too hard to smile, etc). But oh well, it's US!