Well, I've heard a bunch of stories from friends and I've listened to a bunch of funny comedy bits about it - the baby boy who pees JUST as his parents are changing his diaper. JUST as he is born. JUST as he is getting in the bathtub. JUST as, well, whatever! Baby boys just tend to pee when cooler air hits their pee-pees. It's only natural, I suppose. They even make little potty training seats with cups over the front to block pee pee from shooting out. Girls have it, too, which I never understood until tonight....
See exhibit A:
Notice the little cuppy thing at the pee excretion site? Yeah, it's supposed to STOP pee from coming up and over. And little girls have this problem, too, as I found out...
Streams of pee pee? Not JUST a boy thing.
Here's what happened...
I put Avery on the potty seat because, in her words, "I gotta go pee!"
Awesome, right?!?! "No more diapers, no more wipes. No more Mommy's brains are frights!"
Freaking diapers. I hate you. I hate your marketing ploys. Burn, baby, burn.
I digress.....
Point is, Avery was on the potty seat. I was sitting in front of her on a kiddie stool, Morgan was in the front part of the bathroom, but trying to sit on me....Admittedly, I was annoyed because Avery had to go to bed. Morgan had too much sugar and was being annoying. I didn't see it coming when Morgan was trying to sit on my lap. But I felt it...
PEE!!!!!!!
ON MY FOOT, ON MY UGG SLIPPERS, ON MY SWEATPANTS!!!!
Why?!?!?!?! OH GOD, WHY?!?!?!?!
Because that little girl sat on the seat and the pee went up and over the cup!!! It was a fountain!!!! Up and over, stream and soil, laugh and it goes faster, higher, longer!!!! Yup. It happened. Pee everywhere!!!!!!!!! I congratulate her arc, though! It was fabulous. After I felt it begin, I had plenty of time to watch the hilarity ensue. Up and over! Rainbow-esque! Water fountain wanna-be! All of the above! It was a perfect arc of urine, missing every blockade it could...landing everywhere it shouldn't!
Oh, the arc! Oh, the pee! Oh, the, well, mess! So yeah, it went all over the place - down my shoe, on my pants, all over the floor! But the best part of it all??? She laughed at my misfortune! Ah, youth! To love the despair of others, to find pleasure in peeing on feet (and UGGS!!!!!), to look your loved ones square in the face like this:
Do I need to state the obvious?
Nah. Didn't think so.
But I will anyway - SHE'S SO WEIRD!!!!!!
:)
