Happy New Year..With Tantrums!

People always say that teachers have it pretty good because we have the holidays and summers off. This is true, although the grading never ends. That's a 24 hour a day thing, in every moment I have, including when the kids are screaming and I'm standing at the island, trying to wrap my brain around the same sentence repeatedly since I have to keep stopping and starting, stopping and starting, stopping and starting. It's one of the jerkiest trains I've ever been on. Or Simon says STOP...GO...STOP...GO...Not cool. Especially for my students who reap the consequences of an irritated woman assigning a number to the fruits of their labor! Please take note of the large brown spot on my essays that I'm supposed to be grading:

But as always, I digress. Here are the nutty, boogery, crazy, Bailey's Irish Cream necessary moments from the past week...

Here you will see a few from one of the worst days ever - New Years's day. Yes, the day after drinking indulgently until 10:30 like every other exhausted woman! I am actually proud that I made it until 10:30 as opposed to the typical 9ish. What a great night!!!! But oh jeez, what a horrible next day, and not because of a hangover.

Because THIS happened.

Crying.

Screaming.

Wailing.

Boogering.

But I tried to keep it all lighthearted and fun, something nice on the first day of the new year.

But here's what I found instead...

Genus: tantrumus spectacularous

Species: locohairius freakamuch con mucusin noseyous

Common Name: The crazy-haired tantrum haver with boogers

And now for a transcript of my new tv show, ala Steve Irwin...

As we maneuver through the crazy-haired tantrum haver's natural habitat, one dense with danger and frightful creatures at every turn, we must...CRIKEY!!!!!!! There's one now! SHHHHHHH! Let's listen and observe this rare phenomenon in its natural state...

CHTH: (from just inside the closet, door ajar) AHHHHHHHHH! GET OUTTA MY ROOM!!!!!! (slams it shut in explorer's face)

Explorer Lady of the Insane and Most Trauma Inducing Psychosis: Excuse me, missy, but it's not exactly appropriate to slam the door on poor, innocent observers who wish you no ill will.

CHTH: (from behind closed door) NOOOOOOOO! I TOLD YOU....
GET....OUTTA...MY...ROOM!!!!!

(CHTH opens said closet door and proceeds to berate the explorer and her assistant, Nutty Baby of Crazy-Land Who Obsesses Over Bubbles in the Sink, repeatedly, at which the two can feel nothing but a paradoxical mixture of hilarity and despair)

ELotIaMTIP: Jeez Nutty Baby, I guess we are in way too much danger after all! This appears to be one of the most life threatening, psychologically damaging but also laughter inducing creatures we've ever encountered! Let's boogey before she completely goes bonkers! Not even I, the ELotIaMTIP am brave enough to face this demon head on!

NBoCLWOOBitS: Peace out, homie!

Author's note: Avery actually says, "Peace out, homie!"

:)