Pee, Crowns, Popcorn, and Ferrets

Avery does NOT like wearing clothes, let alone diapers. Every chance she gets she strips naked, especially if she wants to play in the sink. See pic...

Love the crown, right?!?! Morgan made that at my High School pre-school last year with her favorite student, Molly. She remembers Molly even to this day - a testament to how great Molly is!!!However, once she's done in the sink, good luck getting her clothes back on! Well, on one of these fateful days, Avery ran naked all over the place until I heard, "I peed!"

Which she did.

On Morgan's bedroom floor.

But at least she really did try to clean it up. With toilet paper, rags, etc. She's a good cleaner!

At least the girls are starting to cooperate more. And shocker, they LOVE money!!!! (Coins, to be specific!) Here's Morgan demonstrating the fine art of counting (and don't forget she's anti-four!) to Avery, (who LOVES number four). Irony.

And here they are actually sharing food!

The look on Avery's face was deliberate! She's a ham!!!!

And now for the final shots of the day - Morgan with Fez (who she chased around and tormented for an hour, including putting him in the doll baby crib, giving him and Wally a bath, chasing him all over...) and Avery watching Mickey with her baby...

Although today was a bit rough after naps, and the screaming and tantrums were super loud and crazy, and least the majority of the weekend was pretty happy! Yay!

Anniversary, Scary Hairy, Frosting Faces, and A Real Schooling in the Meaning of Life...

Oh Jeez! I have no idea where to begin! Well, I guess we can start last Friday, February 17th, our 11th wedding anniversary! Whoo hoo! I haven't hurt Dan yet AND I'm not in an asylum, so, in the words of the greatest actor to ever go completely bonkers, "WINNING!"

As I primped and prepped for our first night out together in a long time, and as Krystle curled my hair using tons of hairspray and a curling iron, Avery cleaned the bathroom. No joke. But, of course, Avery's version of cleaning is squishing pump conditioner and shampoo all over her hands and rubbing it all over the inside of the shower. Being that we were feeling a little bit goofy, instead of getting upset about the soapy mess, here's what Krystle did to Avery's hair...

Best picture ever, right? She may not have a lot of hair, but she knows how to ROCK what she's got!

Here's me and Dan out at a hibachi place eating yummy yummy food!

Aren't we just as adorable as we were over a decade ago? Sure, the grey hair is creeping in and the wrinkles are starting to web out into a complex system of dendrites and synapses, and we definitely don't stay up as late as we did as kids, but we're still pretty cute for our ages, I think (especially the one on the left in a black shirt and beautifully curled hair!)

But back to Avery rocking the town, here are a few of her funny moments over the last week...

Sitting with her babies watching tv...

Fun in the tub...

More watching tv with 10 babies, 4 blankies, 15 muts, etc...

More watching tv in a beanbag. Does she watch too much tv? For a kid who is always on the move, it sure does seem like the only pics I have of her are in front of the tv. Maybe that's because she's actually sitting still and I can catch her in a non-blur.

Have you ever seen Paranormal Activity 2? The one where baby Hunter is in his crib and there's a dark force haunting the people who live in the house? And there are weird things that happen in the baby's room? And the dog freaks out in there? And the baby monitor shows a lot of creepy things, including a girl getting dragged out of the room by some unseen demonic entity? You know, for YEARS I wouldn't watch that flick, even though I love horror/scary/gory/freaky/disgusting movies! Yeah, me! I watch everything, but any movie with a baby and/or baby monitor just seemed too off limits to me. Well, I watched it, finally, and no, it's not as bad as I thought. However, the baby room/monitor scenes are definitely a tad too icky for me, so I always feel a tiny little sense of unease when I look at Avery's monitor. The "what if's" and "but maybe's" always creep their way into the back corners of my mind.

And then I remember who we're talking about, here.

The thug of all babies...

The only one in this family who has the gumption enough to take a ghost on face-to-face...

Avery: BOO! Screw you, ghosts! I'm scarier than you are!!!!!!!! Ha! Betcha didn't even see me coming! Big babies! Big deal. You can put a sheet on and run around going, "ooooooooooooo," but can you sing your ABC's? Ha! No! I can! Can tolerate daddy's nudginess and irritating Dan-isms. And not too many people can say THAT! Ha! Begone, silly demons! This house is clean!

Except...please know this - she sits on the baby potty seat and deliberately toots. And laughs! She squeezes, scrunches, pushes, grunts, laughs, pushes, oomphs, toots, laughs, grabs handles, bears down, pushes, scootches, rocks back and forth, toots, laughs...repeat!



So, yeah, that's my kid!

Now on to Morgan and her adventures in dating.

Notice the female dominance in the relationship?! That's a great start!!!

And Avery has a similar dominance over frosting...

I'd love to say that the frosting won this one, but we all know who wins in the end...Avery! She kept that icing all over her face for hours! Licking at it at will, savoring its delicious pink flavor for longer than the average kid! What a great idea!!!

Today we went to Morgan's school. I had the day off, so Morgan, Avery, and I packed up and hauled off to Morgan's PK fun, and here are some fun shots of how Avery fits right in!

Sitting down for snack!

Listening to Mrs. Bucio...

And my favorite?
Walking over to the middle school to talk to the older kids about tree sap and how to make syrup! They never really hold hands, so this was adorable!!!

In step the whole way! How cute!!!

Anyway, things are great! We've had a really nice week and now we look forward to the rest of the weekend together. I'm sure we will hit up McD's at some point and do our usual stuff. But for now, I'm off to watch the latest installment of the Twilight series! Yay team Jacob!

:)

More McD's, Hair, and Funny Quotes of the Day

We had fun at McD's last weekend!!!! Good breakfast, good times!

Then we did hair...for once!!!

Still no hair. But at least has a bow.

And then for the most recent conversations (tonight)

Fun Situation #1:

7:30:    Morgan goes upstairs to go to sleep

7:45:    Morgan comes out and wants me to come up and put her talking baby outside of her room so she doesn't get scared in the middle of the night. Fair.

8:01:     As reported to me by Dan:

(Morgan goes into his office)

Morgan: Daddy, go get my Ipad.

Dan: No Morgan, go to bed.

Morgan: (holding up finger to Daddy) Daddy, say yes, and go get it.

Dan: Yes

Morgan: okay, now go get it.

Dan: Okay, Morgan. (Starts walking away)

Morgan: Good choice, Daddy.


Fun Situation #2:

Dan puts Morgan back into bed and says: Gee Morgan, we need to clean this bed up.

Morgan: No, Daddy!

Dan: Yeah, Morgan.

Morgan: Daddy, you're KILLING me!



Fun Situation #3:

Avery: Morgan, I want chocolate!

Morgan: Tough Noogies!



Side Note:

Watching Glee, typing this, and some dog just toally tooted. Great.

Bad.

These guys?!?!

Nope.

Little dog with big attitude?

Nope.

Her butt isn't big enough.

Which leaves...

Yup. Her.

And now?

Again.

I am SO kicking her out tonight.

Adventures with Food (Ala The Godfather and Alien)

Now normally, this topic might seem like a great idea, one saturated with consumption of glorious cheese, cookies, cake, ice cream, lollipops, steaks, potatoes, pizza, sushi, beef stew, salmon, chicken carbonara, bacon, Creme Brulee, etc.....


I mean, really, how can we go wrong with food?!


And obviously, things didn't go "normally" if I'm writing this, but please rule out the obvious food fight or mess. This one, oh this one, is unique!


It was Avery, in the kitchen, with the "see food." She's the criminal! The master of disaster, the queen of the mean, the kid with an id, the clown of the town, the nuts with the muts, the


yeah, okay, I get it...


She's funny.

Innocent? Seems like it, right? Cute little PJ's with butterflies, look of obscured confusion, legitimate denial of responsibility? Or, is it defiance and intimidation? A little thug ready to throw punches at me any moment...notice the left hand precariously placed, almost as a little Godfather - "Some day, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me. But uh, until that day, accept this justice as a gift on my daughter's wedding day."


Ah, my little Paisan!


Don't cross her. She'll get her vengeance...when you're not looking...


Or just come at you guns blazing...

And then again in case she didn't finish the job!

And once all of the blood is spilled and the truth comes out, she'll "make you an offer you can't refuse!" And then laugh at you because you're laughing!!!


Capice?!

And now for another movie reference...


Something seems to be stalking, lurking, lingering just out of reach, out of range. Dark, a force to be reckoned with, an ominous presence. Here she is, in alien territory, on a recon mission to find a needle in a haystack, or some butter in the noodles. But unknown to our heroine, there are creatures just out of reach, out of sight...

Oh wait...what is that? An alien life-form sensing its way towards you? Needing your warm body for incubation, sending its minions out to perpetuate its species' survival?

And as you look at the camera with adorable eyes and innocence in your smile, and as you sit around the dinner table laughing at life and the android's freakish ability to stab the space round his fingers, you realize that there's something there, something...ALIEN!

But instead of busting out of your stomach, this one latches itself onto your hair, taunts you with peripheral incompetence, lingers longer than it should because at any minute, any second, its buttery greasy acidic blood could parasitically latch itself onto you, and then, YOU'RE TOAST!

And no matter what you do, you can't rid yourself of it. It's there, forever in your hair, forever in your blood...and in your escape pod.

Jonesy?

Guess What's Happening...

Here you'll note the adorable Morgan, carefully and delicately placing one blanket after the next...
Please note the complete mess in her room and the slightly devious look on her otherwise angelic face...

Now if you'll note the pancake pile of pillow pets atop the delicately placed pillows...
This girl is nothing if not tenacious. And she's extremely particular about what order each pillow goes onto the pile. I was reprimanded at least twice for the wrong placement, to which I calmly reply, "Sorry, honey, mommy didn't do it on purpose."

So what is she doing?

Building her own pyramid ala the aliens in Egypt?

Nope.

Building her own leaning tower of Pisa?

Nope.

Performing an experiment that tests the physics of cotton/polyester?

Nope.

Here's the real deal:

It started with a bunny and a dream...

A dream to be a mommy to the bunny, to put the bunny to bed, to care for her and love her regardless of how much it causes the bunny severe stress. Or how painful it is when Morgan grabs her by the scruff and "gently" places her in the little baby crib. Or how crazy it is to think that a bunny will stay put in said crib.

But shockingly, Bayley stayed where she was. For a long time. Even when we left the room. For 20 minutes. Now...maybe it was all of the pillows and blankets that kept Bayley in, but honestly, even without the pillows and blankets that bunny was pretty comfy where she was, and she didn't really budge at all! She sat, relaxed, chilled out, and maybe even took a nap! She was a super little playmate!

Now for some more fun moments:

Avery and I went out running errands together to get her out of the house while Morgan napped (Avery was dead set against it!) So while Dan and Morgan stayed home, Avery and I went sofa shopping (did NOT go well!) and then to Bath and Body Works where Avery helped the nice saleslady put stuff away. Seriously. She stocked shelves! And she did it well! Which allowed me a little bit of time to grab some yummy vanilla/lavender lotion and a light up duckie!!! But of course...McD's was in order, and Avery insisted on wearing my sunglasses as we went through the drive through!

Similarly, Morgan has a great time, too...but in her own way. It's not about getting out of the house, but rather PRETENDING she's getting out of the house. So here she is pretending to go outside in a "winter coat," earmuffs, gloves, and no pants. No problem in the frozen tundra that is Wisconsin!

Finally, what do you see happening here?

Could it be Avery screaming again like she did earlier tonight at the furniture store?

Could she be screaming at mommy to give her a bottle?

Could she be demanding that I provide her with the complete works of Willie Shakespeare?

Could she be practicing synchronized swimming moves for the Olympics later in life?

Or...could it be the obvious????

She's laughing hysterically at me!!!! 'Cause I'm funny!!! Especially right before bed (hence the low lighting!)  and when she's trying to find every reason on the face of the planet NOT to go to sleep! Everything from: I wanna lay down here (the sofa) and watch Mickey, I wanna read a book, I wanna play with Morgan, I wanna take a bath, I wanna I wanna I wanna. And of course this turns into me wrestling with an alligator to get her PJ's on. And let me tell ya, that causes a whole bunch of sweat!

But nothing causes sweat like the following:

We got a new sofa. Our old ones are completely destroyed, partly because of the construction, partly because the dogs nails have pulled at the fabric, partly because we use them so much, partly because there was so much spillage and milk and juice and food all over them. So here is our new sofa that Dan and his friends dragged into the house and I spent forever stripping the plastic off of...then we moved it around and threw out plastic and by 8:30 it was mostly done...but still, I was all sweaty!!! Yuck!!!

This is at the store. We got the love seat, too.

Mohawks and Dancing

Over the last few days, things have been pretty funny around here!

Avery was mad, at first, about us taking her picture with her hair all done up'!

And then, there's this...one of my favorite pics of Avery!!!

Or this - praise the lord of all jelly!!

And Morgan with her robotic baby - sweet, but creepy!!!

And more....the hair spraying of Avery....