Adventures with Food (Ala The Godfather and Alien)

Now normally, this topic might seem like a great idea, one saturated with consumption of glorious cheese, cookies, cake, ice cream, lollipops, steaks, potatoes, pizza, sushi, beef stew, salmon, chicken carbonara, bacon, Creme Brulee, etc.....


I mean, really, how can we go wrong with food?!


And obviously, things didn't go "normally" if I'm writing this, but please rule out the obvious food fight or mess. This one, oh this one, is unique!


It was Avery, in the kitchen, with the "see food." She's the criminal! The master of disaster, the queen of the mean, the kid with an id, the clown of the town, the nuts with the muts, the


yeah, okay, I get it...


She's funny.

Innocent? Seems like it, right? Cute little PJ's with butterflies, look of obscured confusion, legitimate denial of responsibility? Or, is it defiance and intimidation? A little thug ready to throw punches at me any moment...notice the left hand precariously placed, almost as a little Godfather - "Some day, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me. But uh, until that day, accept this justice as a gift on my daughter's wedding day."


Ah, my little Paisan!


Don't cross her. She'll get her vengeance...when you're not looking...


Or just come at you guns blazing...

And then again in case she didn't finish the job!

And once all of the blood is spilled and the truth comes out, she'll "make you an offer you can't refuse!" And then laugh at you because you're laughing!!!


Capice?!

And now for another movie reference...


Something seems to be stalking, lurking, lingering just out of reach, out of range. Dark, a force to be reckoned with, an ominous presence. Here she is, in alien territory, on a recon mission to find a needle in a haystack, or some butter in the noodles. But unknown to our heroine, there are creatures just out of reach, out of sight...

Oh wait...what is that? An alien life-form sensing its way towards you? Needing your warm body for incubation, sending its minions out to perpetuate its species' survival?

And as you look at the camera with adorable eyes and innocence in your smile, and as you sit around the dinner table laughing at life and the android's freakish ability to stab the space round his fingers, you realize that there's something there, something...ALIEN!

But instead of busting out of your stomach, this one latches itself onto your hair, taunts you with peripheral incompetence, lingers longer than it should because at any minute, any second, its buttery greasy acidic blood could parasitically latch itself onto you, and then, YOU'RE TOAST!

And no matter what you do, you can't rid yourself of it. It's there, forever in your hair, forever in your blood...and in your escape pod.

Jonesy?