Location? Avery's room and the landing. A seemingly quiet day, in fact, quieter than usual. The dogs were sleeping soundly, Morgan was still napping, Avery was playing in her room, and Mommy was hanging out on the landing watching Avery play. All was right in the world, including my sanity, for once.
Then, without warning, it happened. Like A 'Clue' game gone awry, we were all of a sudden dealing with a horrific murder! But it wasn't Colonel Mustard with the lead pipe in the kitchen!
It was Avery with the force of gravity from the landing!
Scene of the crime?
Oh no! BABIES DOWN! Notice the easily chalk-marked positions! I swear, I didn't arrange them there. That's how they fell. That's how they died.
Me: Avery, what happened to your dolls, honey? Aren't they going to be sad?
Avery:
What-choo-talkin-bout, Mommy?
Me: Well Avery, it seems as if your babies have all thrown themselves off of the landing, crushing their little naked bodies and contorting their pretty little limbs, and even though they appear to have looks of pure joy on their plastic faces, I can hear them screaming and gurgling their last little breaths as their tiny little non-existent hearts cease to beat. So, Avery, I'm going to ask you again...What happened to the babies?
Avery:
Me: Avery?
Avery: (hehehehehe)
Me: Okay, so let me wrap my hands around your head and magically suck the truth out of your short term memory, tapping into the ocular nerve and the pre-frontal cortex to gain access to the truth of your actions. Wait....don't move!!!! Come back here! I swear it won't hurt!
Avery: (Running in circles) I'm fast!!!
Me: Slow down ya nut!
(I have to physically tackle Avery, who really is quite fast, and then...sucking noises)
Me: I'm gonna suck the truth outta that little baby noggin of yours! You better hope that those babies jumped to their own deaths because if you threw them over that railing, I'm a little worried about your future. After all, some of the major warning signs of a troubled adulthood (even serial killer-esque) are: hurting small animals (on a daily basis), abuse (does it count if Morgan knocks her block off a few times a day?), deriving pleasure from others' pain (the babies...if she's found guilty), and lighting things on fire (hasn't happened yet). So, Avery, feed me the truth. Transfer it through my fingertips! Acquit yourself!!!
Avery's Brain:
Me: Oh, man! I'm gonna have to start sleeping with my door locked. Jeez.
Avery's mugshot:
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