Oh, craziness...

As usual, things have been nuts around here!

Avery and I were outside for awhile on Saturday. Morgan was asleep on the sofa...in fact, she slept all afternoon because she wasn't feeling well. So this is what Avery and I were doing on the playground...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7-fBAQql50

But of course, peace doesn't last forever. Here is the rest of our time together...

Oh, chocolate ice cream, you are my demise.

We went to a fun outdoor park with awesome swings!

And here's Avery on our own playground... crazy girl.

And with her favorite dragon, Goldie...

We went to McD's and they played on the kiddie gym - all the way to the top! They had races down the slides. And it was just last year that they wanted to go home when other kids came around!

And here is Morgan with her friend, Ava, the girl next door! With her horse, Rain.

And then there's Avery...

We were at the neighbor's house tonight and Morgan got two splinters. One came out no problem, but the other one was pretty deep, with just a little nubbin sticking out. So after A LOT of tears, time, fear, cajoling, promises, tears, freak outs leg hairs plucked on both me and Dan, eyebrows plucked, stories told, etc. Morgan finally agreed to let me pluck it out. But first was soaking in the tub where Daddy read her a story...

And then the panic continued...

After A LOT of convincing, it only took a millisecond to get this thing out...

And Avery was there to make her feel better!!!

Ah, childhood. Ah, breaking a sweat over silly stuff like this!!!

:)

Penny For Your Thoughts....

It's the end of the day on Wednesday,

and Avery SHAT OUT THE PENNY!!!!!

Let's all give a celebratory shout, YAY!!!!

Here she is "driving" in the front seat....

And then here's the penny!! Sorry. It's in poop. Deal with it. It was a great moment for us!

And all cleaned up!

Here's some video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXDVfVU0vgo

Ah, babies....and poop. They sort of go together.

:)

Can't Make This Shit Up Part 2

Holy Hell. Really?

That's how I feel right now as I think back on the last few days of insanity. Avery's Saturday night puke fest was just the beginning of a crazy week. Between kids at school telling me about some pretty serious issues and my own kids being incredibly whiny, Chrissy has heard it all this week. So here we are on a lovely Saturday. Let's take some time to view some fun dancing from Thursday afternoon, shall we?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RnW37F_7dsA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZ7-1sRH7kI

I love that Avery eats broccoli as she dances, and that Morgan HAS to wear a party dress. And that they are both tragically uncoordinated in their own very special ways!

So on to Friday. Avery displays her freakishly strong and funny personality.

And now for a freakishly strong demonstration of her abilities...

Even Deagan is impressed...

And then there's an epic fail. Not poop, shockingly. Mud.

And they found a whole bunch of pine cones, put them in a bag, and Morgan dragged them behind her on the bike!

And here we are on Saturday...... the girls and I went to Target, and Avery decided it would be fun to lay under the cart with her new Cocoa Puffs!

Saturdays seem to be the days of doom around here. This is when the fun really starts.

Morgan has been a good girl all day. Even though she's been a little whiny this week, we had a chat this morning about what Mommy expects and what good behavior looks like. And she was good all day! No whining, no arguing, if Mommy said no she said okay, she helped Avery, she took a nap, she helped to clean up, etc. It was awesome! So I let her get a Rapunzel doll (Punzel). She absolutely LOVES her! We've washed her hair, brushed her hair, braided her hair, everything her hair. Punzel, not Morgan. Morgan's hair is still a mess!!!

And not that it's good to compare, but dear God Avery was a bear today. Granted, she was good at Target, but she was up at 6, teased the dogs, whined all morning, unrolled a whole roll of toilet paper in the bathroom sink which was filled with water and clogged, she hit Sydney, she would NOT take a nap (which means I didn't, either), and the kicker of all kickers, she ATE A PENNY. Yup. A Penny.

I was cleaning up the kitchen. She was eating a jelly sandwich. I saw the penny on the island and thought nothing of it. Then, as I faced the sink, I heard, "Mommy, the money went down in my tummy."

Really???? Seriously???? Expletives.....(Even though I was secretly happy that she rhymed it)

So I put a call in to the doctor, and five minutes later this happened....

Thank God Cooper likes puke because I was in the middle of cleaning up the fridge and freezer and I most certainly did NOT want to pick this stuff up! So, yeah. She ate a penny. The doctor said that as long as she could breathe and eat, that the only thing to do was to wait for it to pass. She pooped about two hours later, and yes, we had to use a wipe to go through it all...only to find.....NO PENNY!!!!!

So here they are watching Dora together. It didn't last long.

And then this happened. Avery's lack of nap completely messed her up this afternoon! APOCALYPSE! DESTRUCTION! ZOMBIES! VAMPIRES! WOODCHUCKS!

BIRDS! SHARKS! ANTS! CLOUDS! BUNNIES! COTTON BALLS! FUZZY BABY KITTENS! CINDERELLA! CUTEST BABY ANIMALS EVER! SILENCE!!!!!!!!!

SANITY!!!! PEACE OF MIND!!!!!!  SOLITUDE!!!!! BRAIN CELLS!!!!!! IQ POINTS!!!!!! CLARITY!!!!!!!! PATIENCE!!!!!!! BLOOD PRESSURE!!!!!! QUIET!!!!!! NORMALCY!!!!!!

UGH.

(Sunday morning update...still no penny...)

I Really Can't Make This Shit Up...

(Screaming in the background upstairs - the kind that is truly sad, upset, hurt. Like the frowny face is in full effect and even I start to panic....)

Me: What’s wrong? Avery, what happened? (I start walking up the stairs, expecting the trauma to have occurred in the bathroom where the voices are from.....but NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!)

Rewind back 48 hours.

Mid week: Avery has been acting weird. First she had a really crabby day last week. She’s had a few of those recently, which indicates that she’s not feeling well. Her “normal” crabbiness usually only lasts for an hour or so, but recently it’s just apocalyptic destruction on a fast-running zombie scale.

Friday: she got some random rash. It kept appearing all over her body...red with raised bumps. And she would tell us when a new hot spot was about to appear and lo and behold, it would. We still have no idea what triggered it, but after a nice dose of Benadryl and a cool bath with baking soda, we were able to alleviate the discomfort and the rash went away.

Exhibit A:

Saturday: All was well. Kids had dinner. Avery had peas and cheese sticks.... then we went to a wedding downtown and had a fun night! Then we got home. Kids were asleep. Yay for peace and quiet....

Saturday night/Sunday early AM: I was snapped out of my slumber by the sounds of a demonic entity shrieking and spewing. Literally spewing. Avery was at the top of the stairs hurling green chessy chunky goo all over herself and the floor, crying and screaming as more and more projectile vomit pulled a Linda Blair all over the place! I quick swept her up and dragged her in the bathroom, and she just looked HORRIFIED and traumatized and shocked and scared all at the same time! It was in her hair. How did that happed? Boomerang puke? Regardless, there we were stripping her naked and dumping puke in the potty while the bath filled up a bit. We had to wash her down and calm her down simultaneously. Poor kid! After cleaning her up and doing the best I could with the carpet in the middle of the night, I laid her down on the floor to get her in new jammies....when....BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHH SPLAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! MORE GREEN CHUNKY CHEESY GOO ALL OVER HER AGAIN! MORE CRYING! MORE STAINS ON THE CARPET!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Rinse and Repeat.

Got her in yet another set of jammies and climbed into bed with her. The tears dwindled, the blankies were on, I rubbed her back and gave her hugs and kisses. But we all know where this is going...

Two more pukes, but both times she was able to make it to the bathroom. Phew. I settled in next to her and we drifted back off to sleepy land at 4AM.

Sunday morning: Wakey wakey! Avery and I came downstairs and curled up with an episode of Team Umizoomi. She had a sip of water. Two minutes later? BLAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WWAAAAAAAAAAAA! Again. But it was just water and it landed on the linoleum, so I figured that was the end of it. No worries, right?

Morgan woke up and the three of us played for hours! See the attached video. My feet are still painted as I write this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fjHCIVC1HM

So we spent the whole morning together, playing and having fun, although it was definitely messy! However, Avery kept complaining about her bum and that she wanted butt goo. So we took her upstairs but didn’t have any, so we just wiped in. I let her walk around bare bummed to air it out. Until...yup. Go back to the beginning.

She walked up the stairs and it happened. It was happening. Yup, it happened all over the place and there was nothing that any of us could do about it. It just happened.

So let’s review. Green puke stains in Avery’s carpet and top of landing. Green liquid poop now all over the stairs. And the worst part of all of this? I can’t find the steam cleaner’s hose attachment so I have to hold the stupid thing on each stair, precariously perched like an ostrich on a twig, ready to tumble down the stairs with Chrissy and all. As I slaved away, sweating bullets and swearing religiously, Morgan was downstairs helping Avery get settled in. She brought Avery toys and blankies, then tucked her in. After I eliminated the tragedy, I helped Morgan get her sneakers on because Dan was about to take her to the store to go get butt goo before Avery’s nap. I said, “Morgan, thank you so much for helping Avery so Mommy could clean up!” She said, “Sure, Mommy! She’s my sister! I like to help!” AWWWWWWW!!!!!!

So to wrap up quickly, Avery got her butt goo and cried when we put it on because her bum is so raw.......

then she passed out immediately upon hitting her pillow, Morgan got water ice at the store and is eating them one after another, she also brought home flowers for Avery...

Dan is playing his game, the dogs are sleeping, my feet are still painted with nail polish, and I’m about to end this tale and enjoy the temporary quiet! Peace out, homies....wait a freaking minute....there’s a kid playing the drums somewhere in the neighborhood. How do I know? Because it’s audible even with the doors shut! OMG.

Oh....and it snowed today. SNOW.

Morgan + Make up = Mess

The pictures speak for themselves....

She is a tiger.

Roar.

Growl.

Tee hee hee hee.
It required a bath and some serious make up remover to clean all this off.

My quirky kids!

I have absolutely NO idea where they get it all.....

:)

In case it's not obvious, this is Avery......

 She's definitely a goofball. Quirky and silly and random in her own Avery way, which makes the day interesting. Never a dull moment! She "tiptoes and sneaks up on me and yells SURPRISE!!!!" She "freezes" when you tell her to and her little hands go up to the appropriate velociraptor position. When you want her to stop running away you can't yell STOP! like an ordinary parent. No. You have to say, "ESPADA!" - which isn't even the Spanish word for stop. Who knows what it is. I looked it up and I think it's sword. Whatever. It makes her stop running.

Here she is with her sunglasses on...

Sexy, right?! Hell yeah!!!!!

And then there's my Morgan, who is, perhaps a bigger horse lover than I EVER was - you have no idea how much it runs her life. She pretends to be the horses that she rides, the horses in the movie Spirit, the horses NEXT to the horses that they ride. She spent most of her day today being a horse, and as the night came to a close, she wanted a feather in her hair like the horse, Rain.

How adorable is this?!?!?!

Then there's this...she said she wanted a hoof up in the air....

Then some up in the air hoofing!

And finally, as she called it, her "confused look!!"

Regardless, please note the beautifully clean hair with the purple feather! Beautiful!!!!