4:59 Bath time for Avery
5:00 Chris goes to feed bunny and clean out ferret poop while listening to Avery. (Yes, I know).
5:04 During said cleaning, Chris realizes that only Bonnie and Clyde have exited the cage. Where's Fez? I noticed that he was under the hammock that is about two inches off of the ground. Just laying there. Imagining the worst, I hesitantly reached in and felt that he was warm. PHEW. I picked him up, and he was a bit loopy, but breathing and warm. But regardless, he was NOT well, so I quick called Dan, determined that we had to go to the vet NOW, whisked Avery out of the tub, slapped a diaper and some clothes on her, put Fez in a towel and in the front seat, ran the girls to the car, buckled, checked, (where are the keys!??! where are the freaking keys?!) ran back in the house found them on kitchen counter, sprinted lightning speed back to the car got in and DROVE! But to where? New Berlin Animal Hospital? The Emergency Vet by the airport? Krystle called a few times while I was trying to get my phone's SIRI to call New Berlin. I called her back en route to Waukesha (opposite direction of New Berlin) and she tells me that Waukesha doesn't treat ferrets. WHAT?!?!?! But Dan took Fez there a long time ago! So I finally call New Berlin and yes, they treat ferrets, but that doctor JUST left for the day. Meanwhile Fez is in my lap breathing in shallow breaths, not moving. I'm desperately trying to rub him and prod him and pet him and keep him alert. So the New Berlin place gives me the number of an emergency vet in Greenfield (really in the opposite direction) and I call them. At this point I'm getting on 94 east and they answer. But I notice that Fez feels cold and I can't feel him breathing anymore. So I ask the girl if it's worth bringing him in, and as we talk about it more he's getting colder and colder, so I realize what's happening and I curse my luck that I didn't go in to feed them even 15 minutes earlier. Are you serious? 15 minutes. Could have been enough. Why tease me so? Not cool.
So of course I start bawling but now I can't hide it from the girls who want to know what's wrong. So here's my lame attempt to explain it:
Me: Well, you know how you have toys that have batteries and sometimes the batteries run out and we have to replace them? Well, living things have a sort of a battery, too, but once it runs out it can't be replaced, so Fez's little body stopped working.
(She understood that.)
About 20 seconds later she asked, "Mommy, are you okay now?"
Me: No, not yet, but I will be.
Morgan: You know Mommy, if we go to McDonald's and get a sandwich you'll feel better!
Me: Yes, Morgan, I'll betcha I would. That's a great idea.
(Morgan sang a made up song for awhile about trees and painting and flowers)
Morgan: Mommy, what are we going to do with Fez now?
Me: Well, we'll go home and bury him so that God can take care of him forever. Maybe we can bury him under a pretty tree!
Morgan: Wow, Mommy! What a great idea! He will LOVE it! .... Okay. Then what?
Me: We can make a little cross and decorate it to remind us where he's buried.
Morgan: Oh, Mommy, that's a GREAT idea!
Me: I thought so too, Morgan.
Later...after we went through the McD's drive through and I indulged in a cheeseburger...
Me: Alright, girls, let's go bury Fez.
(We went out back and I showed the girls where Wally was buried, marked by a little rock.)
Me: Should we bury him next to Wally?
Morgan: YES!
(So here's where things get pretty bad...I start digging, noting how much easier it is to dig this hole than the one I dug for Wally. Because HOLY SHIT I DUG UP WALLY! Yes! I didn't put the stupid rock in the right place and I would up exhuming my dead ferret! I desecrated his body AGAIN. Not only did I kill him once, I also chopped at him with a shovel! Insert expletives my mom wouldn't want to read).
Morgan: What? What happened?!
Me: Nothing, nothing to see here. Everything's fine (quickly putting dirt back but there were little white legs sticking out....AH! Crap! Cover them!)
(Moved to the other side and replaced the rock in the RIGHT place. Seriously? Dug new hole. Ground was significantly harder. Good. Put Fez in, we said bye, buried).
End of story? Hell no! Not with my luck with these things.
Here's where it gets really, really bad.
Yup.
We're in the kitchen eating our McD's and I see Cooper, Deagan, and Savannah. No Sydney. Which is weird because we are EATING! She's the worst of them all because she can get up on the island. So I walked to the side window to look. Damn! Blocked view thanks to the shed. Walking out the back door, I said a prayer in vain. Because I already knew. And there that digging dog was, working at the graves. Double SHIT!
More feet sticking up in the air.
I grabbed the towel and exhumed both boys, walking to the other side of the house. Then, before I crossed beyond the trees, I took Deagan's collar off to see how far it would go. As soon as it started beeping, I walked a few more paces and stopped. It happened to be right at a very pretty bush right outside of the kitchen window. (Morgan decided to stay inside because it was too cold). So there we were, Avery and I, digging a new and bigger hole. We tucked them in together, which maybe, in hindsight, is best. They get to spoon for all eternity.
Dirt back, shovel back, but no happiness back.
Bad. Sad.
7:00 But then we made a popsicle grave marker together (the kind of sticks that have stupid jokes on them) and somehow, things got a little better...
RIP Fez and Wally...
